Combat Mission Battle Logs

10/16/2004

Turn 8 – wall haxorz

Filed under: — Top Hat @ 1:52 pm

After having this turn movie sent to me about 38 weeks after I sent my last orders in, I couldn’t remember what in the hell was going on. Let’s see, press PLAY on movie. . . ah, yes, I am getting pieces of my bloodied ass handed to me from every direction.

Since everything has gone to shit for me, I thought it’d be a good opportunity to have all the troops fall back to the houses for some good ol’ “house-to-house mayhem”. It’s sort of like hide-and-go-seek, except instead of trying to tag someone while getting all giggly, you try to penetrate their fucking skull with a blazing hot bullet and force blood and brain matter to land on their shoulders, forming fleshy-looking epaulettes on their uniform, thus adding some old-school army sophistication. (And dare I add, sexiness? Who doesn’t love a man in uniform!)

The manual isn’t all too detailed about how house attacking/defending works, and after this, I’m still confused. Here are two classic examples of “qu’est-ce que le fuck syndrome”. . . the first takes place at the church, and the second over at the town.

Check out the three Shermans all firing in unison, playing that gentle war melody that every culture and creed can understand: the sound of shells heading in your direction. You can see the glorious muzzle flashes from two of them, and smoke spews forth from the third, that has just fired (just right of centre):
tanks firing on church

And at what are they aiming? Why, Mr. Bauer of course, hidden on the second floor of the church. Watch Boogie Down Bauer do the backspin and windmall simultaneously as the shells land. Nice moves, BDB! The Bronx can’t touch Dresden’s finest breakdancer. Body movin’!
Bauer getting hit

Now here’s what gets me. Here’s an exterior view of the church, with the third and last shell landing. The rectangle indicates that Bauer’s group is behind this wall (and please note that the rectangle is now sideways, confirming that he’s on his back, DEAD).
church exterior view

Here’s the thing… do you see a window? I fucking sure as hell don’t. Yet, Bauer and friends were shooting from that spot, and the Shermans knew where to fire. So, how does this work, anyway?

Onto example two.

wallshot 1wallshot 2

[LEFT] Over at the town, my CO unit was ordered to fall back from the top floor window and head downstairs. Before moving back from the window, the CO had spotted a Canadian unit running towards the house, but once he had moved away, no visual contact could be made. Here’s the CO running on the ground floor of the house, as well as a marker (the totally classy and awesome maple leaf!) indicating the last known position of the Canadian unit.
[RIGHT] Next thing you know, these two ass monkeys are firing at each other, through the damn wall! Note the grenade the Canuck just tossed, and now both units have guns drawn and are firing at each other.

wallshot 3wallshot 4

[LEFT] The grenade goes through the wall, lands, and explodes. The Canucks scream “Wow, these grenades gracefully move through solid objects just like Patrick Swayze did in Ghost! Let’s throw MORE!”
[RIGHT] Finally, some of the CO’s pistol shots also penetrate the wall and force Captain Canuck to hit the dirt. Meanwhile, wall-penetrating grenade #3 explodes so close to the CO, it looks like he’s have a massive diarrhea attack. I mean just look at him. Can’t you just picture him screaming “no more old cheese for me!”

I realize this combat engine isn’t meant to accommodate precise house fighting, but it’s kind of hard to figure out how and where to position men inside a house (or in your case, how to approach a house) if people can see, and fire at each other in an illogical manner. Is there a pattern here? How do I position people? What do they cover?

I RTFM’d and I don’t recall seeing any detailed information. It mentioned that windows play a role in being spotted, and it’s possible that the CO was seen by another Canadian unit, through a window not shown in this screenshot. But look at them. . . they’re shooting at each other through a wall! I’m getting CS flashbacks!!

Oh and by the way, these examples include two of my CO units. Congrats on reducing my leadership head count. Looks like I’m left with a bunch of Pvt. Ryans who need some serious saving.

Turn 6 Revisited

Filed under: — Top Hat @ 1:51 pm

NO! NO! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

platoon

NEIN! NEIN! NEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!

platoon

10/7/2004

Turn 7 – Germans can fly?

Filed under: — thimble @ 11:51 pm

The battle continues with another recoilless rifle firing at my sherman tanks from it’s trench infront of the church. There also appears to be a mortar team nearby, let’s listen in…

two guys talking in trench
Dolf: Hey Hans, i heard the hooker boys just surrendered!
Hans: Shit! I really liked those guys, best handjobs in town.
Dolf: Well it doesn't really matter we're getting our asses pounded!
Hans: Kinda like those hooker boys!
Dolf: HaHa good one Hans!

After this comment Hans was immediately tossed into the air like a ragdoll

explosion flying

I think this is when you should run away Top! You don’t want to have your guys steamrolled!

-Thimble

Turn 6 – Don’t Shoot, Me Love you long time!

Filed under: — thimble @ 11:47 pm

On the short side of the town there lays a single trench with about 200m of wheatfield protecting the city. Just passed the wheatfield lies a protective forrest that my infantry are using as cover. I decided to lay down some artillery fire and smoke to try and scare whatever or whoever is in that trench. Little did i know it would be a squad of male german hookers who also operate the local recoilless rifle! Glad to see you boys! They surrendered quickly when they saw the human wave of infantry coming out of the forrest.

captured

Top they also told me about all your plans so you might want to quit now!

-Thimble

Turn 5 – Jude Law in Enemy at the Gates 2

Filed under: — thimble @ 11:39 pm

I was given several sharpshooter units for this mission, usually i use them to scout out the enemy and engage tank commanders who enjoy the wind against their face along with a bullet to the eye! After learning that Top got zero tanks in the battle I decided to use them as long range snipers against this LMG squad, who is causing havok for my advancing team.

sniper shot 1 sniper shot 2

As you can see Jude has them dead to rights, the enemy’s head is taking up the entire screen of the awp scope!

Well now what? I’m running out of guys to kill top! Maybe if i send this team into the town they’ll get some no scope awp kills! l33t!

-Thimble

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