Combat Mission Battle Logs


Turn 7 – The Marksman

Filed under: — Top Hat @ 10:29 pm

You probably didn’t know this, but I had another Panzer IV to your far right. I was planning to have him slowly move up to the crest of the ridge and try to hit your Shermans from behind, because I just know you were planning to send the Shermans forward toward the abandoned Panzers in an attempt to run over the surviving crewmen, Command & Conquer style, because you’re a sadistic fuck who enjoys listening to shock-jock radio.

My Panzer started to make its way up the ridge, and it didn’t seem like the pack of Shermans had spotted him. But guess who does? A stupid armoured car driving along the road, much further back. Upon spotting my Panzer, the kawk instantly fires his machinegun, and manages to kill the commander. Oh, but that’s not all, the piece of shit is at least half a kilometre away and firing the machinegun while moving. The Panzer crew is in shock because they see Lt. Schepke’s legs convulsing while the back of his trousers slowly become soiled. The armoured car has all the time in the world to stop, aim, and nail the Panzer a couple of times, killing more of the crew.

That’s pretty damn impressive if you ask me. Hitting a man’s head on a moving tank, with a machinegun on a moving AFV, from at least 500 metres away.

Lt. Schepke’s dying wish is that you drive over there and kiss his ass, which will be stone cold by the time you get there.

pic of bs hs
Assface firing his vehicle-mounted machinegun at a Panzer that no normal human would’ve been able to spot (centre of circle). Sgt. Buttlich (shown inset) commented after the battle “Vell you see, I am running the server off my own Rogers connection and I have low ping so people say zat I get lawky head shots but it’s really skill I have the most headshots on my server it’s a lot like za engineering rifle on za Pacific maps in Battlefield…”

2 responses to “Turn 7 – The Marksman”

  1. thimble says:

    To be honest i thought you were just giving up and you had made that panzer have a cover arc of 2m and just said the hell with it. Well what else can i say? Greyhounds rule! I think those 2 remaining greyhound commanders will be my molson 3 stars, along with the camel shit who’s role as a decoy allowed my total domination of you!

  2. Top Hat says:

    And I know how poorly I played when a lump of camel shit is the third star of the game.

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