Combat Mission Battle Logs


After Action Report, Part Deux

Filed under: — Top Hat @ 10:38 pm

Here is the After Action Report.
after battle report
I don’t know how they calculate the points for enemy casualties. Any idea? Maybe we’ll have dig through the battlefront forums.

Surveying the battlefield, I noticed one funny thing. Here is a thumbnail (of sorts) of just about the entire battlefield. Notice my cover arcs on my surviving units, showing that all remaining infantry have fallen back to the top of the hill, which is on the bottom portion of the map. Now look at the top of the battlefield, and there’s a tiny yellow rectangle, top-centre:

I took a closer look and it’s this green vehicle crew, lying in the grass. They are in the middle of nowhere, and their status is “Pinned” and their current action is “Taking Cover”…
lone crazed unit

Taking cover from what? The scent of death? A bad fart? Flying heads? The sound of babies crying? See, this is what happens when you send 14 year olds to war.

As payback for all the trash talk you dished out in your turn emails, I’m going to name my three stars for the game. The first star wins a 4 megapixel digital camera from Kodak!!

Third Star: The 81mm mortar team led by Lt. Shelman (Get it? Shelman?)
Earlier in the game, Lt. Shelman’s mortar team rained high explosive shells, thumbtacks, diseased sheep, and 16-day-old dog feces on the crossroads for three straight turns. Lt. Shelman’s team survived the battle, although like the 8 year old German soldier to the north, they were freaking out by the battle’s end. 8 infantry casualties caused, and 1 set of mortars destroyed.

Second Star: The bazooka team led by Cpl. Daly
Although many engineers and bazooka teams bravely attacked vehicles, Cpl. Daly’s team scored the killing blow to the second Panzer IV, which was threatening the hilltop positions as well as my last Sherman. They tirelessly fell back uphill, hid in the woods, and threatened the final halftrack charge by the Germans causing them to back off, giving the U.S. forces the time they needed. This selfless act resulted in their deaths. 2 infantry casualties caused, 1 Panzer IV destroyed.

First Star: The Sherman tank led by Sgt. Dunlop
They weren’t veterans, merely regulars. Yet, they managed to throw a big wrench in the Germans’ gears. They were ultimately nailed by a mighty Tiger from the side, but their deeds won’t be forgotten, and the surviving crew will make good use of the digital camera. 6 infantry casualties caused, 2 STUGs destroyed, 1 PSW 222 armoured car destroyed.

After Action Report

Filed under: — thimble @ 5:25 pm

Well the boys from texas were able to slow the german assualt, so the mission finished without the germans ever taking a flag. I think the major problem for my troops was they couldn’t get through all the dead american bodies! They were tripping over texans everwhere, just couldn’t find a direct route without bodies acting as road blocks.

So Top good job on winning our first battle, next time I’ll have to work harder at winning instead of erradicating your troops. Also maybe i shouldn’t have lost so much armour. I guess the thing with this map isn’t if the yexans can stop the germans, it’s more of how long they can hold the tide. Because from my point of view i had way more troops and way more armour. The only thing i was missing was more artillery, but i never use those assests very well.

If I played as the USA i think i would’ve been more conservative and waited for the germans to be really close before opening up, so the APCs couldn’t harass me too much since they’d be swiss cheese from the bazookas.



Turn 12 – Race for the finish

Filed under: — thimble @ 10:47 pm

My tanks aren’t moving as quickly as they could be, spending too much time watching texans die. For some reason when your squad got to the road it went from 7 alive members to eliminated. Also I’m not sure but i think the crew from the armoured car got some luger HS action on those kills. Anyways the forest on my side of the road is finally cleared of enemy troops, and the other side is cleaning up nicely, the sqaud that was giving me troubles is leaving shit stains on the ground as they run from the oncoming apc. For some reason you have a crazy man as gunner for your machine gun squad near the hill flag. He’s firing at my armoured car even though it has zero effect. Doesn’t matter he’ll be a bloody stain on the ground shortly.

I can see your original sherman crew in the town, hopefully they aren’t carrying any bazookas. It’s going to be tough to get to the town, if i can make the road next turn my tiger might be able to get there in time.


Turn 11 – Out from the Box Springs Tony the Tiger

Filed under: — Top Hat @ 10:39 pm

Well what a shitty turn that was. Infantry to the north who have now buckled down have met no advancing Germans, which was surprising. Infantry to the west are having a hard time falling back due to long range machinegun fire. The worst of it is a two-parter…

As mentioned in a previous reply, a Kraut APC along the treeline by the road is firing its large gun at one of my infantry teams near the top of the hill. I intended to bring my Sherman forward with the intention of destroying it. However, not only does the APC knock out my infantry unit before the Sherman can do anything, but all of a sudden to the north-east of the map, from the woods, comes a damn Tiger tank. One shot kill to the side of the Sherman from long distance. My Sherman crew had no idea what hit it, and I’m sure those who have rolled out of the tank are now lying in the grass, staring at the sky, thinking that puffy cloud looks a lot like Franklin D. Roosevelt.

That Tiger was identified earlier as a Panzer III, which made me feel safe enough to use the Sherman to help eliminate what I thought were more deadly threats along the road. Although my infantry units to the north never got a 100% visual on it, I would think that you’d have to be pretty slow to guess that that lumbering Tiger would be a puny little Panzer III (I’m guessing a Tiger is double the weight of a Mk III). It’s like a witness to a hit-and-run IDing a Ford Galaxy as a Pinto. Now I’m glad those infantry units to the north are all dead, because they were dumb fucks.

I’ve got very little left. Kommander Thimble knows I have no remaining Shermans, and with his Tiger, and various vehicles-mounted machineguns, as well as a shitload of infantry headed my way, the best I’ll be able to do is ask everyone to whip it out and start pissing in your direction, in the hopes that someone had a lot of asaparagus last night. Maybe the stink will make you think twice about advancing any further.

Turn 10 – Ron Stug can’t shoot no more

Filed under: — thimble @ 1:19 pm

Well the previous turn ended with my remaining forrest stug on a downhill slope eyeing the sherman for revenge. Instead of firing loads into the face of the sherman my stug decided to sit there and do nothing! I guess he couldn’t bring his turret up that high to attack the sherman. So the stug is no more, Top your shermans have the best luck, i don’t think they’ve missed yet. And your first shot hit the stug while you were moving, which usually results in the shell sailing well far of the target.

In the forrest i have a squad right beside your remaining engineer squad. I can hear punches being thrown i think, either that or the sgt of your sqaud is slapping your guys back from the brink of panic. I still haven’t found your prized bazooka team unless those were the guys i slaughtered in the road trench.

I see you launched another mortar attack, when will you stop with that shit? How many rounds of 81mm do you have? I see about 3 units on the hill and I’m guessing those are all artillery spotters. I have special plans for those cowards, i plan to roll them over with my tiger!

Turn 9 – Run away! Run away!

Filed under: — Top Hat @ 12:42 am

For me, this turn was all about retreating, with the remote hope of regrouping. To the north of the road, it’s pretty clear that all remaining infantry units are pretty much screwed. Instead of ignoring them, I thought it might be possible to have them use the only escape route possible: through the trees and to the road. Any other route most likely ensures death.

I don’t think it’s any big secret to outline those who have been trapped on the north side of the road: I’ve got a poorly placed machinegun crew, one more squad, both of their CO, and the HEROIC bazooka team that took out your armoured car in an earlier turn. :)

I laid down some cover fire with my Sherman, firing at one of the advancing Kraut squads from a distance, hoping it would keep them, and any nearby units ducking for cover. I also asked for mortar fire between the remaining STUG plus its accompanying infantry group, and my full squad. We’re talking mere metres between them. All infantry were ordered to run for their lives through the woods. I assume such an order would make it through in good time because the CO was in close contact to all units.

The lone machinegun team faired poorly, which I suppose was to be expected, since they were already exposed on one side by the advancing Dolph Lundgrens, and the other by the remaining STUG’s machinegun. They were wiped out. What I wasn’t sure about was how the full squad would react to my orders. They were so damn close to a couple of German infantry squads (who seemed to be advancing on my position, but also seemed to be taking cover, possibly from mortar fire from the last turn) and had the “pinned” status, I wasn’t sure if the “run” order would kick in. (Should I have ordered them to “withdraw” instead?) As of the end of the turn, they still are stuck close to where they started, with no covering fire to assist a retreat. My bazooka team and CO have escaped immediate danger, but their pant bottoms are stained from fear-induced shite.

Meanwhile, further south, my lone Sherman has given up on hunting the Panzer III and armoured car to the far north, which are obviously trying to get around the forest to flank me (you asswipe), and was laying down area fire to help cover the infantry units’ retreat. Unforunately, or fortunately, it was distracted by the presence of an armoured car by the road a bit west of its intended target, and knocked out the armoured car with two hits.

Toward the west end of the map, the German infantry advances via truck and half-track, and has interfered with some of my infantry movement. I fear that it is simply a matter of time before the infantry on the west, and the Panzer toward the north-east clamp down on my remaining forces, and squeeze the shit out of me.

I am desperately trying to build a Ghost unit so I can cloak and launch a nuclear attack. Yes, wrong game, but my heart is in the right place.


Turn 8 – Bazookas and why i hate them

Filed under: — thimble @ 1:08 pm

Well I thought this round was going to be sweet sweet killing of the americans by my superior Dulph Lungrend german super troopers. My tanks were lying in waiting, hidden in the forrest and ready to show the shermans what a real tank can do. Only TopHat had his bazooka team was ready to fire once more, i think it’s because Top’s been playing too much bf:vietnam and so he has his team doing guerrilla tactics. So he managed to take out one of my panzerIVs in the forrest. One sherman was already down so i guess that’s a fair trade.

Another panzerIV was on the south side of the road moving slowly towards firing position on the other sherman when wham! Bazooka to the head(literally, i lost my driver). So the tank was shocked and couldn’t fire it’s main gun, so it retreated from the hail of bazooka fire. I feel like I’m in black hawk down, rpg’s going everwhere! Eventually the bazooka’s find their mark and that panzerIV and my plans of flanking the sherman and cutting off the retreat of those fleeing infantry are lost.

Also i have dumbasses driving my apc/trucks. These vehicles are loaded with quality units, ready to kick some democratic ass! Unfortunately they can’t get into the action since the drivers are taking their sweet sweet time going through the trees. It would’ve been nice if those infantry could’ve been beside the tank to protect it from the hail of bazooka’s but no they had to practice their parallel parking in the forrest!

The good news is that Top lost another 2 squads of engineers, so he’s now down to 3 spent artillery spooters and 2 bazooka rounds! Nothing can really stop ze germans now!



Filed under: — Top Hat @ 2:59 am

Dude, what are you feeding those Germans on the “north” side of the road? For the last couple of turns, they’ve been running, screaming, throwing ‘nades, killing people… I can’t get my infantry to back off properly. Those sons of bitches have wiped out one of my squads (as they were running for their lives), and then as they came upon my machinegun crew, they started putting the pressure on them as well. I’m convinced those German infantry have been running for the last 300 metres, thus they are all cloned Dolph Lundgrens. (I know he’s not German, shut up.)

Meanwhile, a bit further north, a couple of monsters (STUGs?) and a Panzer III come rolling out of nowhere. They were starting to roll right by my squad under the trees, but then my boys were spotted by some German peeping Tom across the field. The turn movie ended, and now I have no idea what’s going to happen. They are mere metres away from the STUGs…

And to the “south” of the road my retreating infantry are screaming for their lives. I listened closely when the camera was zoomed in while playing the turn movie, and I heard one of the grunts scream “Tell Maria I love her!” I sent some smoke shells behind their position in an attempt to mask their retreat, but that was pretty ineffective. This was partly because the mortar team was a bit off the mark, and partly because the smoke wasn’t thick enough. If the retreating infantry had all lit up cigars, they probably would’ve done a better job.

See you in hell!


Turn 6 – Big Anticipation

Filed under: — thimble @ 9:06 pm

After a discussion about this upcoming turn at lunch that day, i thought it was going to be a big turn for the germans. To set the stage, the germans are pressing down a road towards a town guarded by a few boys from texas. My Panzer4 begins to turn towards the oncoming shermans a few clicks away and wham! Bazooka to the head! I begin to cry, my sherman killing machine taken out before it had lost it’s virginity, it will never know the sweet feeling of f*cking a sherman. The bazooka team was hiding in the trees on the north side of the road, the german infantry will make them pay for taking out that tank!

On the other side the US infantry is in full retreat and a long way off from any reinforcements. Interesting to see what the 2 shermans will do near the town. Will they come out and expose themselves and protect the retreating infantry or hide and wait inside the town to take on the remainder of the german tanks in close quarters.


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